0s | Hi, Sian here for BBC Learning English... in this Masterclass |
4s | we're going to look at something British people love doing! Being polite. |
17s | No, I'm not coming to your party this evening. |
19s | Wow, this food is disgusting! |
22s | Give me some of your lunch. |
24s | Now sometimes it's ok to be direct - or even blunt with your friends... |
29s | but it's important not to sound rude, particularly in the workplace. |
34s | We're gonna look at 4 ways you can soften your language to make you more polite... |
47s | OK, listen to these two requests. |
49s | Which one sounds more polite and less direct, and why? |
55s | |
56s | 'Pick me up on your way to the party this evening!' |
59s | |
60s | 'I was hoping you could give me a lift to the party.' |
63s | Now, number 2 is much more polite. |
66s | We soften requests, and suggestions and questions |
70s | by using past forms, continuous forms or both. |
76s | For example, 'I was wondering if you could give me a lift later.' |
81s | We can also make requests softer by using a negative question with a question tag. |
87s | So, 'You couldn't give me a lift later, could you?' |
92s | or 'I don't suppose you could pick me up tonight, could you?' |
104s | OK, listen to these two opinions. |
107s | Which do you think sounds less direct and more polite? |
111s | Number 1: 'You're too young to get married!' |
114s | Or number 2: 'I reckon you're a little young to be getting married!' |
117s | Yeah, the second one is much less direct. It's softer. |
122s | We use verbs like "reckon", "guess", "feel" to make your opinions less direct. |
129s | You could also use vague expressions like "sort of", "kind of", "a little bit". |
135s | It also helps if you make it into a question: |
138s | 'Aren't you kind of young to be getting married?' |
151s | OK now listen to these two problems. |
154s | Which one sounds less direct? |
157s | The first one: 'You've made a mistake in this report!' |
161s | Or the second one: 'You seem to have made a mistake here.' |
165s | Yes, the second one was softer, less direct. |
170s | We introduce problems with verbs like "seem" and "appear" to soften them. |
176s | So, 'You appear to have saved over all my documents'. |
180s | You could also use these to introduce your own problems. |
184s | So, 'I seem to have lost those reports you wanted'. |
197s | Now listen to these two ways of refusing an invitation. |
202s | Which one sounds less direct? |
205s | |
206s | 'No, I'm not coming to your party this evening.' |
208s | |
209s | 'I'm not sure I'll be able to make it to your party this evening.' |
212s | OK, again the second one was much softer, less direct. |
218s | We find it really hard to say no! |
221s | So instead we use tentative language to soften it. |
225s | So, 'I'm not sure I'll make it to your party.' |
229s | Or 'It's looking unlikely I'll be able to come this evening.' |
233s | This basically means 'I'm not coming!' |
241s | Now to find out more about avoiding being too direct, |
246s | and to practise not being rude, |
249s | I was hoping you would check out our website bbclearningenglish.com. |
254s | |